60. Ahankaar Departs, Destination Arrives

Krishna says, “some see ‘this’ (atma) as a marvel, some speak of ‘this’ as a marvel, others hear of ‘this’ as a marvel, and even then, none knows ‘this’ at all” (2.29). 

‘None’ refers to an observer who is using his indriyas (senses) to understand the observed (atma).  The indication is that till the time the observer unites with atma, he can’t comprehend it.

Once a salt doll wanted to explore the ocean, so it set off on its journey. Through violent surface waves, it enters the deeper parts of the ocean and slowly starts dissolving in it. By the time it enters the deepest part, it dissolves completely and becomes part of the ocean. It can be said that it has become the ocean itself and the salt doll is no longer a separate entity.  ‘Observer (salt doll) is the Observed (ocean)’, which ultimately dissolves the division and brings unity.

The above story will help us understand ahankaar which always tries to keep us distinct and separate from reality with our possessions, thoughts and actions. At the core, no one wants to be a ‘nobody’ or just ordinary.

But the journey is of unity and oneness which happens when ahankaar dissolves like the salt doll. This means the willingness to put everything we own, both things and thoughts, at stake. It is the journey where the destination arrives the moment we cease to be; where ‘I’, ‘Me’, ‘My’ and ‘Mine’ remain disposable instruments but not our identities.

At the peaks of polarities of pleasure and pain, we get a glimpse of nir (sans)-ahankaar. In these moments we get the realization of who we are and that it doesn’t matter what we know, what we do and what we have.

Nimitta-maatra is the most effective antidote to ahankaar, the sense of personal doership. In this state, Paramatma is recognised as the doer of all actions, while we see ourselves only as instruments through which they are performed.